Lack of updates

Life in Spain, Day Thursday

Hi everyone,

I realise it has been a tedious 5 days since my last update, the reason for the lack of activity is because I received a phone call late on Saturday night from an unknown individual who we will refer to as Mr X, scratch this, we'll call them Mrs X to avoid making me sound like i'm gay.

So Mrs X called and said if I update the blog this week she will do horrible unspeakable things to me, of course, in my head this sounded pretty good so I said, "alright, sounds like a plan" but then she clarified and I do not want her to do the things she said she will do. So basically I am unable to update my blog until.... Saturday probably, yeah Saturday seems like a good day to do it.

I have a bunch of pictures I would like to upload, if I can figure out how, and... well it will be an even bigger blog post than the last one, I don't want to give too much away but you can expect all sorts of exciting things such as Pink Cava, Backtracking, Correspondance with Kinder Surprise support and Koreans to name but a few.

So, stay tuned or whatever it is you do with a computer (not porn obviously) and... watch this space.

Life in Spain, day 4, 5 and 6

Ok, Ok I can hear the critics already but since I lost so many days in the last couple of posts, we'll count this as 4, 5 and 6 because... well it saves me having to look at a calendar and work out what day it actually is.

Now, where to start? The beginning I guess. My last update was Thursday afternoon, my birthday. It was beginning to look like it would be a very ordinary day followed by a very ordinary weekend, a little boring with the work thing on Friday night (I was planning to get drunk anyway) and... yeah.

So for the first post as a 22 year old, lets go through the last 3 days.

Thursday

Thursday became rather interesting after my previous post. After work we went to Karma as normal, Marius and Magda (the owners) were nice enough to buy me a present... I do not think I can describe it, nor do I have a picture so you will just need to take my word for it when I say it is 'special'.
After Karma, at the time we normally go home, we'd had enough drinks to say "ah fuck it" and went to Barcelona for drinking. I know this seems stupid, and therefore you're now thinking "Captain Que, you're far too sensible (and awesome) to do something like this". Well, I decided it didn't matter this time around, I wish I had some epic story for you but we just went up and had some fat frogs in Temple bar then headed back, lols were had though.

Friday

I am now getting up from the computer and taking a break because I feel that writing about friday, including pictures, will take a very, very long time to do it justice... I will return shortly.

*Intermission*

Ok I am back, I was gone for sometime but to you it will appear as if I never left, a bit like a time machine or a black hole (or this blog i guess).

So, Friday during the day was work as normal. I did just remind myself of the birthday lunch which was actually on Thursday but I think deserves a quick picture so... here you go;

Birthday lunch - ribs, om nom nom.

Anyway, back to Friday, so I will skip the day and just go to the after work. We decided the best thing to do before eating with our boss/important clients would be to hit up Karma and get suitably drunk, so this is what we did. We brought Colm along with us (Karma virgin) and put away a few beers. This lasted from around about 6:30pm until 8:30pm when we had to head to dinner.

*Skips boring walking/travelling bit*

So we arrived at the resteraunt and I was kind of disappointed I had been there before - I like the novelty of a new place, but ayway, being a man I sucked it up and got on with it. We were basically sat in the VIP upstairs area which looks like this;

The dining room before it all kicked off.

I was sat opposite the scariest guy in the room (snaps his fingers you're fired) and decided to keep my head down and just keep drinking. Nothing particularly special happend during dinner, there was some banter, Nico tried to take a picture and said some... odd things in French, then realise that actually a good amount of people there could understand him... this was an awkward moment.
After dinner they brought us round some small drinks, I had something red which was after shock. (I am told it is not aftershock but I am writing this blog and so what ever I say is true, I has a blog therefore your argument is invalid.)

Down the table. We did not dare take pictures of opposite the table.

This is at the other end of the table, this was the after dinner drinks table.

That's me... judging from the pose I am not that drunk yet.

So after the resteraunt we went drinking, we went to a club where there was a lot of drinks, a lot of fist pumping NUATT, and a lot of telling the spanish to "EFF OFF". I wish I could tell you something epic at this point but unfortunately there was nothing that crazy happening. We had a few people getting drunk that do not normally get drunk and some people getting a lot drunker than they should be, but in the end we left the first bar without anything much happening. I have a few pics here so... here they are;

This is the first time derek has ever seen a camera, he was confused.

Vodka and red bull... this looks like glass 4 or 5 but who really knows at this point.

I am still amazed by how bad Spanish people in bars are at pool.

This is Nicos first drink of the night which is why he is looking so sober.

It is not often we get to see Enrique drunk... this is a rare picture to which I have copyright.

Now, it is important at this point to realise everyone was very drunk. Everyone was able to walk on their own and pass for sober although no-one really cared what other people were thinking. So heading to the next place and being told we had to wait 30 minutes led to a lot of people yelling NUATT at random strangers and us deciding to leave with Nico saying "This place is shit anyway". (We have class).

Next on our night out we decide to hit up the Salsa bar... I am not sure whose idea this was but credit to them because I have been here before and I love it, two main reasons, firstly I am always drunk when I get there and like the bar layout, secondly this is the type of people that are there;

No explination needed.

This is the bar lady.

This is the bar lady and Nico, this is after 500 drinks which is why he looks much more drunk now.

This is... wait what?

So after arriving there were a lot more drinks had and while some people stayed at the bar all night (Seb Derek I am looking at you) others went into the side room (where there is another bar and seats) and stuff got a little out of hand. I am proud to say I was not involved (also amazed) but basically we were increadibly loud, glasses were broken, the roof was torn (it's like a tent) chairs fell over, Diego broke the tree/plant display and.. well you get the idea. We were not kicked out, this I still find amazing now.
I am not sure what the guys at the bar were doing but I went through to see them twice and twice I had a shot shoved in my hand... at this point I decided it was in my best interests to avoid them.

After all of the mess, noise and drinks they eventually had to close so we all stumbled into the streets yelling the same thing "Where to nexssssshht?" (and of course NUATT).
It was finally decided that we'd go to La Luna club, a lot of people had disappeared throughout the night and we were down to 7 or so, we only had one car so some of us walked while the others drove. Of course... walking we got lost and unfortunately the only Spanish person with us was Diego who was not entirely in a good state of mind. We managed to convince him to ask someone where La Luna was (for anyone not aware, this means the moon in Spanish) so the guys he asked just pointed to the sky and Diego genuinely thanked them... helpful.

So after a lot of walking, some stumbling and Diego singing, yelling and constantly walking accross the road, we arrived. We all put on our best sober face and tried our luck. Out of everyone there Diego was the only one not let in (his best sober state included being unable to stand) so we went out to re-think. In the end it was decided to take Diego home, Colm jumped in and went with him because he had nowhere to stay and the rest of us went into the club with a couple more to join later.

This left us with Myself, Derek, Seb, Nico and Alberto in the club, about 150 euros worth of drinks each already consumed and on the dancefloor. For those of you wondering... yes, of course there are more pictures;

On the dancefloor, just about able to stand.

Alberto before we lost him.

Why so serious Derek?

Ah, that's better.

Nico showing his moves.

We spent a total of 45 minutes (ish) in the club, I showed everyone the infamous sheep shearing dace all the way from Australia, and Nico seemingly tried to get into a fight with everyone. After some time we realised it was all going to end soon, there's always a signal when you're out, having fun and the suddenly you realise it's about to end (you all know this right?) well, our signal came in the form of Alberto losing his phone. Of course he goes to look for it, then we lose Alberto. We end up outside with Nico giving the finger to all the police he sees and trying to climb fences, and myself seb and derek breathing a weary sigh realising there is nothing left to do but call it a night and take a taxi.

We made the collective decision to leave Nico there despite his state, after he ran back into the club. We're sorry Nico, but we believe you can take care of yourself and there is no way in hell we'd be able to get you in a taxi.

Anyway, after the taxi ride we went upstairs and pretty much went to bed. There was one final little story which is best summed up in video form. I will not be posting this video here but for those of you lucky enough to have me on facebook you can check it out through my profile. We also received a call from Nico saying "where are you? I'm coming home and bringing loads of people". Luckily this didnt happen.

I realise this is an increadibly long post so I will sum it up with some cliffnotes;

* Tried to get drunk before important dinner, did not quite succeed.
* Had very expensive/long dinner, managed to survive without doing anything stupid.
* Had a very large amount to drink in first bar, yelled at Spanish people.
* Had to queue 30 minutes for a club, left calling the place shit and yelling NUATT at everyone.
* Went to a salsa bar, broke everything and drank more.
* Went to a final place, people disappeared, we got lost, Diego refused entry.
* Finally got in the club with even less people, danced around before heading home.

Now I know 90% of the people that read this blog just skip to the important part so here it is;

+10 to alcohol resist.
-5 to self respect.
+3 to finding bars.

I will post up Saturday either later or tomorrow, this is a lot of work so it depends if I can be bothered right now. I am sure I have missed out a ton of stuff and of course, I will not proof read this so maybe it makes no sense. If someone feels I have missed something let me know and i'll do a mini-update. If someone wants their picture taken off the site I will need it in writing.

Life in Spain, Day Birthday

So, if you didn't get it from the title, today is my Birthday. Ordinarily this would be a cause of celebration on epic proportions, unfortunately though I am not in the UK... I am in Spain.

Today will be a very small update because there is not much to be said. Last night was very uneventful, we did not join the gym because they need bank details that we did not have, the join date has been rescheduled for Friday... I am skeptical about this happening.

Tonight is more Spanish classes, from a German teacher (odd I know). I do want to learn Spanish, although struggling with the alphabet does make me feel a little bit stupid... at least... this is more Spanish. (lol Diego reading this?).

Tomorrow is the work party, I will look forward to the point of when I have had just enough alcohol to yell out "Thanks for throwing me this birthday party guys, here's to me" and seeing what happens.

Do not expect updates tomorrow, and possibly not on Saturday. Rest assured there will be updates by Sunday evening because by Monday I will not remember what happened.

No stats for today, I was /resting.

Life in Spain, Day unknown.

So here it is, the final blog entry as a 21 year old.

You can expect all posts in the future to be slower, less interesting and wearing cardigans.

To recap over the last few days I do not believe I have learnt much besides my own stupidity. I have finally managed to acquire a sim card for my phone, this only took 4 months. I do not plan to call anyone, or answer my phone, but at least I feel like a normal member of society now (although not quite loud enough to be Spanish yet).

Monday was a very dull day, working 15 hours. I will not go into details but needless to say, fun was not had.

Yesterday I began Spanish lessons. I know what you're going to say, Captain Que, you've been in Spain for 6 months and can't speak Spanish yet!? To this I answer, my blog has only been up for (insert number here) days, so I am only counting by this.

Tonight will be the official gym day, in Castelldefels you must pay 240 euros to sign up, and then a further 67 euros for three months in advance. I don't know what kind of paper they're printing the contracts on so that it costs us 240 euros, but i would by lying if i said i didn't want to try wiping my ass with it.

Expect more updates soon and pictures, since I now carry a phone with me, I will try to get more snaps of exciting things I see such as gun shootouts, plane crashes and slow-mo dives.

Stats for this post: -4 Intellect.

Life in Spain, day 3

First of all, the answer to what you're all thinking is I don't know. I have no idea what happened to day 2 but am I fairly certain that this is day 3 because my PC is telling me it's Sunday.

So, after an eventful weekend I have learned a few more things which helped me to mature as a human being and understand Spain a little bit better;

1. If you're going to get cash out, make sure there are no drug addicts standing around.
- It turns out, drug addicts are not very well paid and to supplement this they try to take your money instead. Fortunately, they do not have enough money to afford any kind of weapon so fending them off is not particularly difficult.

2. Learning Spanish is easy for everyone except me. Apparantly Spanish is a doddle except there is no logic to the language at all, meaning you have to learn every single word/phrase individually, this can be quite time consuming.

3. Do not answer MSN from someone you work with when it is the weekend. I think this is fairly obvious why.

4. When the Spanish say the floor is wet, you better take them seriously. I saw the sign, I chose to ignore it, and now my ass is paying the price. (Pictures available upon request)

5. Beware of French people that can speak German. There is more of them than you'd think.

6. If Spanish people get in your way, shoving them very hard is normally a good way to make them move. Before you try this trick I suggest you double check they are infact Spanish.

So, +6 points to wisdom in Spain, if this keeps up I will soon be so knowledgeable I could start a gang and make everyone call me Cue ball.

Obviously this news update will not mean much of anything to anyone and since I do not have the patience to explain these events fully, I have decided to post a few pictures instead. Enjoy.

Ok, so this is a picture of temple bar, famous for fat frogs, girls being annoying when you're trying to drink and porn.

I'm not sure what is happening but it looks like someone asked us for directions and we're a little confused.

Yes, I am answering the call I got on my beer bottle, yes, she is talking into a straw. This is normal in Spain.

If you don't understand this, you don't deserve an explanation.


This is the warmup drink.

This is a Spanish bar which is very well hidden. No singing allowed.

Life in Spain: Day 1

Ok, so day 1 is a bit misleading, what I actually should have put is Day 1... after 6 months of living here. I guess that makes it more like day 181 but who cares, it's my blog and this entitles me to write what I want however random and untrue (expect lots of this).

In my 6 months living in Spain I have discovered two things;

1. Living in Spain is nothing like being on holiday in Spain, for one thing there are much less German people (although I have found one) and Spanish people do not speak any English at all. The last point is actually untrue as most of them speak it, they just refuse to do so on principles.

2. If you pretend to understand what is being said and just agree to everything, it never ends well.

So, now that I have shared my wisdom and knowledge of Spain there is nothing much left to do but talk about my experiences. As I am at work and thus, should be working, I will not share these now but instead wait until some interesting event happens which lets me type "This reminds me of the time..." because not only will this look super cool, it will also allow me to get on with some work now and hopefully, not be fired.

Watch this space, fantastic things are about to happen.